Hiding behind a mask

While in treatment I was constantly reminded to "take my mask off," not an actual mask though. My treatment team referred to my "mask" as my way to hide how I am really feeling. I realized that I had been putting on a "mask" for as long as I remember. I'm not the only one who puts on a mask to pretend I'm perfect, it seems as though everyone puts on a mask at least once in their life. These masks are actually just us acting excited and happy, when really we feel the complete opposite inside. So what feelings does this mask hide? The answer is every depressed, angry, upset, or negative feeling you ever get. People put on these masks when they don't want others to see all of their negative feelings, and instead want them to think they are put together, happy, and perfect. These masks always are bright, cheery, and beautiful, because we humans think people will only love and accept us when we are these perfect people. We also think that people will judge and make fun of our true, nasty, and upsetting feelings. We think that no one else will understand our awful feelings, so why share them? The truth is, we all feel these crappy and not so pretty emotions, and we will keep feeling them until we share them and let them go. When we put on those cheerful masks and pretend everything is okay, as we just shoving those negative feelings down as they build up, stronger and stronger. So while we think we are making everything better by just pretending, we are actually making it worse. I have been working on showing my true feelings and not wearing my "mask" all the time for months now. When I am not being truthful about my feelings is when my eating disorder and self harm urges get stronger. So for me, taking of that mask is an important part of my recovery. Obviously, not putting a mask on will be a lot better for your health and well being, Start letting people see how you are really feeling. I grantee you will start feeling a lot better about yourself if you do!