School. Yay.

    It is that time of the year again. The time that kids dread and parents secretly look foward too. Yep, school starts. I know I am personally terrified to get back into high school. I haven't been since February, so it feels like forever. I understand the fear of high school, or any school in general. I know it is scary to walk into a huge school, to feel invisible    and judged at the same time. I know how it feels to compare yourself to everyone you pass in the hall, or to sit alone in a class where everyone else knows each other. I know the stress when the teacher calls on you to read and the worry for each test you take. So this post is for anyone who every feels like this at school. For all those students who are already worried sick for that first day, who cry about school, or fake sick to get out for a day. For all those kids who hate school, because of all the anxiety and stress. You can make it. School can be fun. You get to see your friends, go to dances, dress up for spirt weeks, cheer at football games. You get to be involved.   I know school is scary, but you can do it, you can finish this year, and one day be able to look back on it and say "wow, i really loved that school year." 

I know some pretty great people...

     I stay in recovery for myself, but I couldn't do it without the people in my life. Some days they are the only reason why I keep fighting. Besides my amazing therapist, I have so many people around me who are always rooting me on. My family is always my number one fan, even though we fight quite a bit. I also have my friends, I don't know if I would be alive without them. They try their best to understand everything I go through and always rush to my side when I am struggling. There are so many times when they put my needs in front of their own, and I am so grateful for that. Now, I can always turn to all of those amazing people, but sometimes I find the people I barley know the most helpful. When I'm struggling I can always go to friends from treatment to help pick me up. Sometimes when strangers come to me for help, it inspires me to keep fighting and helping others. 

        Recently I was lucky enough to hear  a girl's life story. I had never met her, let alone heard of her, but I was instantly amazed with her strength and compassion. She told of her rough times, many of which I could relate too. She had kept fighting and living, even when she didn't want too. She is a warrior, she did not give up on her life, even when she was ready too. I am so glad she didn't, because she has already changed my life. I actually got to talk to her last night about self harm, since she has recovered from that. She had the most wonderful words of wisdom that I will forever look back at. She talked to me about stopping self harm for good, because she knew how horrible it is. The one thing she said that really stuck with me was "God doesn't want you to struggle with this. He gave you a bumpy road, so you can prove to people that you are very very strong. Your strength, gets people through so many things." I mean, how perfect is that? That was only one of the amazing things she told me. We made a promise, that if I stayed strong against self harm she would stay by my side. We would stay strong together. Her advice gave me a new look on stopping self harm for good, and showed me that it is possible. She is truly amazing and her love and courage is so inspiring. She told me that I am an inspiration to her, I hope she knows that she is an inspiration to me.